- Signed: Matthew Hartman
- Filed under family .
It's these times when you just have no words... To describe the way you're feeling, why something you didn't really know all that well, when you lose it, why you're so upset.
I found out early this afternoon that my cousin lost his little baby girl. She was just over a year old. A vibrant, little girl, that had no care in the world but to laugh, smile, and look out at the world with those big, beautiful eyes. Just to explore what was out there, to learn everything she wanted, to meet anyone she wanted, to experience her first everything. She was able to see her first birthday, her first Christmas, her first New Year, all this with only meeting her "Uncle Matt" just a handful of times.
That's what I'm having a hard time grasping right now. My cousin, whom I literally grew up with as a brother, his little girls don't know me all that well. Zoey, she's got the personality to fall in love with anyone, knows me somewhat - from the past couple of summers I've seen her. Myah, she really didn't know me at all. This past summer, I finally got to see her. Such a cute, little pudgy thing, she was. ;)
Nobody knows exactly what happened and I don't know if anyone really cares to know. Brian wants to fault himself and I'm sure Amy feels the same. But, they can't do that to themselves. There really isn't anything any of us could have done. We just can't look after one another 24/7. I wish it really were possible.
The family is taking this very hard... I tried to talk to Brian this afternoon and it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time. What do you say to someone that's just lost their child? There was so much on my mind, but all I could muster was "I'm really sorry."
I'm trying my damnedest right now to figure out logistics for getting home as soon as I can. I want to be there for Brian and Amy. Not only for emotional support, but to help them through a very difficult time. Plus, it would help me... To shed my tears with all of them, rather than all by myself.
Myah, I didn't know you all that well, but I'm so glad you went the way you did. No suffering, no hurt, and I know you're in a beautiful place.
God, you took her from us way too early. WAY too early.
I found out early this afternoon that my cousin lost his little baby girl. She was just over a year old. A vibrant, little girl, that had no care in the world but to laugh, smile, and look out at the world with those big, beautiful eyes. Just to explore what was out there, to learn everything she wanted, to meet anyone she wanted, to experience her first everything. She was able to see her first birthday, her first Christmas, her first New Year, all this with only meeting her "Uncle Matt" just a handful of times.
That's what I'm having a hard time grasping right now. My cousin, whom I literally grew up with as a brother, his little girls don't know me all that well. Zoey, she's got the personality to fall in love with anyone, knows me somewhat - from the past couple of summers I've seen her. Myah, she really didn't know me at all. This past summer, I finally got to see her. Such a cute, little pudgy thing, she was. ;)
Nobody knows exactly what happened and I don't know if anyone really cares to know. Brian wants to fault himself and I'm sure Amy feels the same. But, they can't do that to themselves. There really isn't anything any of us could have done. We just can't look after one another 24/7. I wish it really were possible.
The family is taking this very hard... I tried to talk to Brian this afternoon and it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time. What do you say to someone that's just lost their child? There was so much on my mind, but all I could muster was "I'm really sorry."
I'm trying my damnedest right now to figure out logistics for getting home as soon as I can. I want to be there for Brian and Amy. Not only for emotional support, but to help them through a very difficult time. Plus, it would help me... To shed my tears with all of them, rather than all by myself.
Myah, I didn't know you all that well, but I'm so glad you went the way you did. No suffering, no hurt, and I know you're in a beautiful place.
God, you took her from us way too early. WAY too early.
This entry was posted on Sunday, January 11, 2009 and is filed under family . Monitor this post through the RSS 2.0 feed. You may leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.
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