No, they are certainly not. Much worse than I ever thought possible, if you can imagine that.
The past 3 days of my life have been some of the hardest I've ever had to go through. I don't ever want to deal with a life being cut so short the rest of my life. I have cried more in these past 5-6 days than in the last 4-5 years of my life, combined...
Seeing my cousin and his wife go through such a horrible time has been very difficult. And even though the past two nights I've put on a brave face, hung out with them at their home, trying to make jokes, have fun, it isn't at all how I'm feeling deep down. I try to be strong for them. I know I have to. I want them to feel some normalcy in their lives right now. It's a hard thing to do, but with having some close friends and family to surround them with, it's made things a little easier. For all of us. We play with the kids, especially Zoey, who really doesn't understand what all is going on, other than "sissy went up into the clouds." She really doesn't know exactly what that means, but I'm sure, in some way, she wonders where she is. We've helped out cleaning the house for Brian and Amy, we've provided them all sorts of food to live off of for another two weeks probably (hah!). And we have tried with all our might to shower them with all the love and support we can afford.
I've been trying my hardest to keep from thinking about things and all I can do, it seems, is to listen to music. It helps ease the pain some.
Just tonight, though, I drilled through some of the newer songs I put on the mp3 player and came across the following lyrics in a portion of "Don't Tell Me." It's one of the newer songs that Mayday, a small band from Ohio, released to the MySpace community not so long ago. While the song itself is about getting over a recent break-up, some of these lyrics reflect very much how I've felt this past week and I'm sure how Brian and Amy have felt at times...
I'm glad Justin sent me the videos he took of Myah on his phone. It's only a glimpse of all those times I missed knowing her. It tears at my heart, but I'm so glad I have those videos now. What a beautiful little girl. I never knew it, but her favorite word was "WOW!" When you think about that for just a second, that is such a great way to look at the world, isn't it? To be in such amazement, the only thing you can say is "WOW!" Maybe I'll try to live my life a little bit more like that in the future. Myah, you've not only reminded me what's most important in my life, you have inspired me. And I only met you once.
I'll see you again, someday, beautiful.
The past 3 days of my life have been some of the hardest I've ever had to go through. I don't ever want to deal with a life being cut so short the rest of my life. I have cried more in these past 5-6 days than in the last 4-5 years of my life, combined...
Seeing my cousin and his wife go through such a horrible time has been very difficult. And even though the past two nights I've put on a brave face, hung out with them at their home, trying to make jokes, have fun, it isn't at all how I'm feeling deep down. I try to be strong for them. I know I have to. I want them to feel some normalcy in their lives right now. It's a hard thing to do, but with having some close friends and family to surround them with, it's made things a little easier. For all of us. We play with the kids, especially Zoey, who really doesn't understand what all is going on, other than "sissy went up into the clouds." She really doesn't know exactly what that means, but I'm sure, in some way, she wonders where she is. We've helped out cleaning the house for Brian and Amy, we've provided them all sorts of food to live off of for another two weeks probably (hah!). And we have tried with all our might to shower them with all the love and support we can afford.
I've been trying my hardest to keep from thinking about things and all I can do, it seems, is to listen to music. It helps ease the pain some.
Just tonight, though, I drilled through some of the newer songs I put on the mp3 player and came across the following lyrics in a portion of "Don't Tell Me." It's one of the newer songs that Mayday, a small band from Ohio, released to the MySpace community not so long ago. While the song itself is about getting over a recent break-up, some of these lyrics reflect very much how I've felt this past week and I'm sure how Brian and Amy have felt at times...
And you say it's time to move onIn the context of what my family and myself have been going through, the first-person pertains to Brian and Amy, myself, and the immediate family that have been affected the most, while the second/third-person pertains to those that try to mean well by saying, "be strong, time is a healer..." We appreciate the comments and we know all of you really want to help, when the reality we have to face is that this is pain we need to deal with day-to-day and isn't something we can solve quickly. We appreciate the love and support, but all we need is those closest to us, to be there for quidance. I certainly want to thank all of you that have sent thoughts, wishes, and prayers through E-mail, over Facebook, and in person. It's been overwhelming and just proves how many people can be touched by only a 14 month old girl.
And stand up tall
To walk it out, get even, crawl
'Cause the more you love, the more you fall
Then I hear you, but I'm tired of all the good advice
It doesn't help...
It just gathers dust up on my shelf
This is hearthache that you've never had
So, you can try to wish me well
But, don't tell me that time is a healer
'Cause I know I still lie every time that I see her
And I can't get away from the smile
It isn't fair...
That I don't get to be
The one to put it there
I'm glad Justin sent me the videos he took of Myah on his phone. It's only a glimpse of all those times I missed knowing her. It tears at my heart, but I'm so glad I have those videos now. What a beautiful little girl. I never knew it, but her favorite word was "WOW!" When you think about that for just a second, that is such a great way to look at the world, isn't it? To be in such amazement, the only thing you can say is "WOW!" Maybe I'll try to live my life a little bit more like that in the future. Myah, you've not only reminded me what's most important in my life, you have inspired me. And I only met you once.I'll see you again, someday, beautiful.
1 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
- Signed: Matthew Hartman
- Filed under family .
It's these times when you just have no words... To describe the way you're feeling, why something you didn't really know all that well, when you lose it, why you're so upset.
I found out early this afternoon that my cousin lost his little baby girl. She was just over a year old. A vibrant, little girl, that had no care in the world but to laugh, smile, and look out at the world with those big, beautiful eyes. Just to explore what was out there, to learn everything she wanted, to meet anyone she wanted, to experience her first everything. She was able to see her first birthday, her first Christmas, her first New Year, all this with only meeting her "Uncle Matt" just a handful of times.
That's what I'm having a hard time grasping right now. My cousin, whom I literally grew up with as a brother, his little girls don't know me all that well. Zoey, she's got the personality to fall in love with anyone, knows me somewhat - from the past couple of summers I've seen her. Myah, she really didn't know me at all. This past summer, I finally got to see her. Such a cute, little pudgy thing, she was. ;)
Nobody knows exactly what happened and I don't know if anyone really cares to know. Brian wants to fault himself and I'm sure Amy feels the same. But, they can't do that to themselves. There really isn't anything any of us could have done. We just can't look after one another 24/7. I wish it really were possible.
The family is taking this very hard... I tried to talk to Brian this afternoon and it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time. What do you say to someone that's just lost their child? There was so much on my mind, but all I could muster was "I'm really sorry."
I'm trying my damnedest right now to figure out logistics for getting home as soon as I can. I want to be there for Brian and Amy. Not only for emotional support, but to help them through a very difficult time. Plus, it would help me... To shed my tears with all of them, rather than all by myself.
Myah, I didn't know you all that well, but I'm so glad you went the way you did. No suffering, no hurt, and I know you're in a beautiful place.
God, you took her from us way too early. WAY too early.
I found out early this afternoon that my cousin lost his little baby girl. She was just over a year old. A vibrant, little girl, that had no care in the world but to laugh, smile, and look out at the world with those big, beautiful eyes. Just to explore what was out there, to learn everything she wanted, to meet anyone she wanted, to experience her first everything. She was able to see her first birthday, her first Christmas, her first New Year, all this with only meeting her "Uncle Matt" just a handful of times.
That's what I'm having a hard time grasping right now. My cousin, whom I literally grew up with as a brother, his little girls don't know me all that well. Zoey, she's got the personality to fall in love with anyone, knows me somewhat - from the past couple of summers I've seen her. Myah, she really didn't know me at all. This past summer, I finally got to see her. Such a cute, little pudgy thing, she was. ;)
Nobody knows exactly what happened and I don't know if anyone really cares to know. Brian wants to fault himself and I'm sure Amy feels the same. But, they can't do that to themselves. There really isn't anything any of us could have done. We just can't look after one another 24/7. I wish it really were possible.
The family is taking this very hard... I tried to talk to Brian this afternoon and it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a long time. What do you say to someone that's just lost their child? There was so much on my mind, but all I could muster was "I'm really sorry."
I'm trying my damnedest right now to figure out logistics for getting home as soon as I can. I want to be there for Brian and Amy. Not only for emotional support, but to help them through a very difficult time. Plus, it would help me... To shed my tears with all of them, rather than all by myself.
Myah, I didn't know you all that well, but I'm so glad you went the way you did. No suffering, no hurt, and I know you're in a beautiful place.
God, you took her from us way too early. WAY too early.
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
Hello folks,
I realize it's a bit belated, but Happy Thanksgiving! And I also realize it's been several weeks since I last wrote anything in here. Every time I come to make a post, I promise to stay in touch and to write much more frequently - when, in fact, I never do. So I won't make any such promises this time. I will try to make a concerted effort, though, I really will. Hah!
Anyhow, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday this year. My mother and step-father flew up for the holiday Tuesday morning (the 20th) and were here through Saturday. While I had to work an evening shift Tuesday, I managed to get the rest of the week off. My evening shift this evening will be my first since last Tuesday - an entire 5 day stretch. While we didn't end up doing a whole lot, I think my mom and step-dad had a nice time. I certainly enjoyed having them here. Even though I don't have much room in my apartment, I always welcome company. Yes, it gets lonely here sometimes...
My mom made the typical Thanksgiving dinner. We had a 13 lb. turkey to bake, mashed 'taters, corn, turkey & noodles, stuffing and topped all of that off with two apple pies and dirt cake for dessert. Least to say, we ate really well!
They took me shopping for my Christmas while they were here, so in effect, I know all I'm getting from them this year. They brought with them a few items that were wrapped, so I'll have, at least a few surprises! Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it home for Christmas this year. I did get out the Christmas deco while they were here, to get more into the festive mood. I put up the tree (my lonely excuse for one - a 4 ft. fiber-optic tree!), put up the tinsel, and hung some decorations around the apartment. My mom bought a wreath hook for my door, so I also have a little something extra there this year...
As with any other time, though, it was hard to see them go Saturday. I get used to having someone around and when they're not here, especially over the first few days after, it reminds me of how lonely it really is here. I have to remind myself, though, that I do have friends up here... and I do have a job that I love.
Maybe sometime soon I'll have someone that can occupy my time. I made a new friend recently but it doesn't seem that the chemistry is there. It's nice to hang out and talk with EB, but I just don't see it moving anywhere beyond being good friends. I haven't really told her that yet, but I think I'll have to before long. It's been over a week since I last talked to her, so I really need to call her and see what's new. Over the next week or two, we'll have to go out more... So, if you're curious, yes, I'm still looking for Mrs. Right. Hah!
Again, Happy Thanksgiving to you all... and I hope you have a great Holiday Season!
I realize it's a bit belated, but Happy Thanksgiving! And I also realize it's been several weeks since I last wrote anything in here. Every time I come to make a post, I promise to stay in touch and to write much more frequently - when, in fact, I never do. So I won't make any such promises this time. I will try to make a concerted effort, though, I really will. Hah!
Anyhow, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday this year. My mother and step-father flew up for the holiday Tuesday morning (the 20th) and were here through Saturday. While I had to work an evening shift Tuesday, I managed to get the rest of the week off. My evening shift this evening will be my first since last Tuesday - an entire 5 day stretch. While we didn't end up doing a whole lot, I think my mom and step-dad had a nice time. I certainly enjoyed having them here. Even though I don't have much room in my apartment, I always welcome company. Yes, it gets lonely here sometimes...
My mom made the typical Thanksgiving dinner. We had a 13 lb. turkey to bake, mashed 'taters, corn, turkey & noodles, stuffing and topped all of that off with two apple pies and dirt cake for dessert. Least to say, we ate really well!
They took me shopping for my Christmas while they were here, so in effect, I know all I'm getting from them this year. They brought with them a few items that were wrapped, so I'll have, at least a few surprises! Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it home for Christmas this year. I did get out the Christmas deco while they were here, to get more into the festive mood. I put up the tree (my lonely excuse for one - a 4 ft. fiber-optic tree!), put up the tinsel, and hung some decorations around the apartment. My mom bought a wreath hook for my door, so I also have a little something extra there this year...
As with any other time, though, it was hard to see them go Saturday. I get used to having someone around and when they're not here, especially over the first few days after, it reminds me of how lonely it really is here. I have to remind myself, though, that I do have friends up here... and I do have a job that I love.
Maybe sometime soon I'll have someone that can occupy my time. I made a new friend recently but it doesn't seem that the chemistry is there. It's nice to hang out and talk with EB, but I just don't see it moving anywhere beyond being good friends. I haven't really told her that yet, but I think I'll have to before long. It's been over a week since I last talked to her, so I really need to call her and see what's new. Over the next week or two, we'll have to go out more... So, if you're curious, yes, I'm still looking for Mrs. Right. Hah!
Again, Happy Thanksgiving to you all... and I hope you have a great Holiday Season!
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
Has it really been a month since I last wrote in here? God damn!
It seems that each of my last 2 or 3 entries in here I've apologized that I haven't written and that'd make an effort to write in here more. Heh... I don't think I've upheld my promises very well. So again, I'm sorry! ;)
My sister and brother-in-law were up here over Thanksgiving, as well, so I didn't really feel like sitting on the laptop and writing when I had company to entertain. It was really nice to have them up here for almost 2 weeks! They drove up on the 18th and were here through the 27th. It was fun having them around... and I'm looking forward to going back home for Christmas. Yep, my vacation actually went through and I'm actually going to get to go home for Christmas now! Woohoo!
We have been in a fairly active pattern lately, weather-wise and as such, we've had several clippers pass through the region. Nothing significant has come of them, but we probably have about an inch or maybe an inch and a half out there on the ground. Just enough to get the roads and parking lots around town all nice and ice-covered for us. And believe me, they are! The roads aren't actually all that bad, but the parking lot, in particular at work, is horrible. It's nothing but ice and that has made for some interesting treks from the car to the office.
The only real news to share, I guess, is that I recently upgraded my cell phone! If you really care to know, that is! ;) If the title to this entry is any clue, I went with the LG Chocolate phone. I received a mailer just the other day from Verizon advertising their holiday promotions and apparently I'm eligible for an advanced upgrade. My "New-every-Two" contract is up for renewal in January, and apparently with the promotion I was able to upgrade early. So, I went into the Verizon store yesterday (Wednesday) and got the phone. It was free with the upgrade credit, so all I paid for was the 1GB memory card I bought for it. It's a pretty sweet little phone and I love the mp3 player feature! The touch-pad is a bit sensitive and that has taken some getting use to, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. I haven't received any calls on it yet and I haven't even made a phone call on it as of yet, either - so I'm anxious to see how the reception is and if others can hear me alright. We'll see soon enough, I need to make my rounds to the family before long, anyway. You know, call them all up and see how they've been. It'll be especially nice, because I'll now be able to call more than two people now without having to charge my phone back up! My old phone's battery was friggin' horrible at keeping a charge!!!
Work has been going alright, I suppose... I found out today the one thing you should never say to any forecaster - "Why was your forecast so shitty?" If you can believe it, my boss actually asked me that today... Apparently, we had some backlash with our new clientele in Indiana this afternoon about Wednesday evening's forecast, which incidently was my forecast! I don't know what it is about my boss, but he has the worse way of approaching people. I don't mind the criticism of my forecast or the fact that it was my boss who approached me about it... BUT, I have a major problem with him referring to my forecast as "shitty!" I would have a major problem if anyone made a statement like that! There is simply no respect in making that statement and especially makes me feel like I'm two inches tall. Not because of the fact that he's speaking down to me like I'm inferior to his "supernatural" powers as the BEST FORECASTER IN THE WORLD, but because he chose to say all this in front of my co-workers... It was totally uncalled for and, in my opinion, very unprofessional and disrespectful. I don't want to get into what all the issues were, but I came out of the "meeting" having learned a little something about what exactly these folks in Indiana AND Ohio really want. I'll work on the problems and fix them - and hopefully that'll be something my boss will appreciate. More effort and a little more attention to detail will help, I'm hoping.
Anyhow, the ol' ticker is calming down and I'm getting a bit hungry for a snack. Hopefully, everyone out there is having a pleasant day, evening, or whichever. I'm sure you're all feeling much better about yourselves than I am feeling about myself right now...
More later... (there I go making promises, again!)
It seems that each of my last 2 or 3 entries in here I've apologized that I haven't written and that'd make an effort to write in here more. Heh... I don't think I've upheld my promises very well. So again, I'm sorry! ;)
My sister and brother-in-law were up here over Thanksgiving, as well, so I didn't really feel like sitting on the laptop and writing when I had company to entertain. It was really nice to have them up here for almost 2 weeks! They drove up on the 18th and were here through the 27th. It was fun having them around... and I'm looking forward to going back home for Christmas. Yep, my vacation actually went through and I'm actually going to get to go home for Christmas now! Woohoo!
We have been in a fairly active pattern lately, weather-wise and as such, we've had several clippers pass through the region. Nothing significant has come of them, but we probably have about an inch or maybe an inch and a half out there on the ground. Just enough to get the roads and parking lots around town all nice and ice-covered for us. And believe me, they are! The roads aren't actually all that bad, but the parking lot, in particular at work, is horrible. It's nothing but ice and that has made for some interesting treks from the car to the office.
The only real news to share, I guess, is that I recently upgraded my cell phone! If you really care to know, that is! ;) If the title to this entry is any clue, I went with the LG Chocolate phone. I received a mailer just the other day from Verizon advertising their holiday promotions and apparently I'm eligible for an advanced upgrade. My "New-every-Two" contract is up for renewal in January, and apparently with the promotion I was able to upgrade early. So, I went into the Verizon store yesterday (Wednesday) and got the phone. It was free with the upgrade credit, so all I paid for was the 1GB memory card I bought for it. It's a pretty sweet little phone and I love the mp3 player feature! The touch-pad is a bit sensitive and that has taken some getting use to, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. I haven't received any calls on it yet and I haven't even made a phone call on it as of yet, either - so I'm anxious to see how the reception is and if others can hear me alright. We'll see soon enough, I need to make my rounds to the family before long, anyway. You know, call them all up and see how they've been. It'll be especially nice, because I'll now be able to call more than two people now without having to charge my phone back up! My old phone's battery was friggin' horrible at keeping a charge!!!
Work has been going alright, I suppose... I found out today the one thing you should never say to any forecaster - "Why was your forecast so shitty?" If you can believe it, my boss actually asked me that today... Apparently, we had some backlash with our new clientele in Indiana this afternoon about Wednesday evening's forecast, which incidently was my forecast! I don't know what it is about my boss, but he has the worse way of approaching people. I don't mind the criticism of my forecast or the fact that it was my boss who approached me about it... BUT, I have a major problem with him referring to my forecast as "shitty!" I would have a major problem if anyone made a statement like that! There is simply no respect in making that statement and especially makes me feel like I'm two inches tall. Not because of the fact that he's speaking down to me like I'm inferior to his "supernatural" powers as the BEST FORECASTER IN THE WORLD, but because he chose to say all this in front of my co-workers... It was totally uncalled for and, in my opinion, very unprofessional and disrespectful. I don't want to get into what all the issues were, but I came out of the "meeting" having learned a little something about what exactly these folks in Indiana AND Ohio really want. I'll work on the problems and fix them - and hopefully that'll be something my boss will appreciate. More effort and a little more attention to detail will help, I'm hoping.
Anyhow, the ol' ticker is calming down and I'm getting a bit hungry for a snack. Hopefully, everyone out there is having a pleasant day, evening, or whichever. I'm sure you're all feeling much better about yourselves than I am feeling about myself right now...
More later... (there I go making promises, again!)
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
Hello folks,
I'm back into town and am getting settled back into the routine. You know, the working, sleeping, eating thing... Vacation went really well. Even though it seemed to just fly by, I was able to do pretty much all I wanted. I wanted to visit and catch up with friends - which I was able to do a lot of, to visit with family - which I was able to, and to relax - of which, I did quite a lot of, as well.
Traveling went pretty smooth... I ended up getting on the road by 12:30am on Friday the 4th, and with the weather cooperating, I nearly made it home in record time. Besides some hang-ups within the Chicago suburbs, traffic flowed fairly well. To avoid the apparent heavy construction on I-80 south of Chicago, I decided to take Highway-30 east off of I-39 in Illinois. This routed me through several very small towns and through Aurora, Plainfield, Joliet and Chicago Heights... and with construction going on within Plainfield and Joliet, it went painstakenly slow through that area. Still, I made it back into Bluffton by 4:00 pm. The same was true on the way back west on Friday the 18th, but the travel went even slower with scattered, light showers affecting traffic-flow through much of Indiana, Illinois and Wisconsin. Heavy rain in western portions of Minnesota really slowed things down... I was going 30 mph at one point because I couldn't hardly see in front of me.
The first night in town, I spent over at Jeff's (Justin's brother)... Justin and I decided to go swimming in his pool, since it had been a rather warm afternoon. Plus, it sounded really good to me, since I had been stuck in the car all damn day! Then it was off to Webster Lake, Saturday morning... Amy and Chris went along with us this year - it was the first time they had gone up with us. We had a pretty good time. Most of the time Saturday we were out on the water, tubing, or hanging out near the cottage, talking, drinking, and catching up with each other. It was nice to be around some of my closest friends again. It was nice to see Brian and Becky again, as well. I hadn't seen either in a long time... Sunday, the boat broke down, so we were forced to stay ashore most of the day. It got a little boring at times, but it was still nice to just be there with friends, relaxing.
The rest of that first week I was home, I spent down at Amy and Chris' down in Fishers... Chris is still in the process of beginning his real estate venture, so I was helping them out fixing up a home in Greenfield. It went pretty smooth and I enjoyed just helping them out and hanging out with my sister and brother-in-law for a week. Plus, they took me to Carrabba's - and damnit, that made it all worth it! I love that place!
Back in Bluffton, on Friday, I had to make it out to my dad's that evening for a cookout he was hosting for me. Several from my step-mother's family wanted to see me while I was home, so they were all there. It was nice to see them and visit for several hours. Saturday, I spent much of the day with Justin, Brian and Amy. Brian evidently had bought a new gun, so we were out at his parents shooting away. I have never enjoyed guns, per se, so I didn't shoot much, but did shoot his .45 caliber hand-gun. I didn't think it was going to be so loud, so I didn't have ear plugs in, initially. After that one shot, I put a pair of headphones on. As if my hearing isn't bad enough already! Then Sunday, my mother had yet, another cook-out for me. Members of my mother's family wanted to see me, as well, while I was home. It was nice to see them, as well, since I hadn't seen them in nearly 2 years.
Most of the second week, then, I spent at my mother's home in Bluffton. I was able to hang out with friends during the week and mostly just relaxed. My mother and step-father took me up to Bandido's for lunch on Wednesday (the 16th) and Justin, Brian and I all visited Bummies for dinner on both Tuesday and Wednesday. That's the one thing we lack up here in Grand Forks - a drive-in restaurant. As far as I know, we don't have one at all...
Thursday, I primarily spent packing things up... I wanted to visit with my dad, once again before I left, so I went out to his place for dinner Thursday evening. It was nice that they offered to make anything I wanted. :) I asked for my dad's famous fried potatoes. Ahh, were they good. Plus, they know how much I love steak, so they had steak on the grill ready, as well!
All in all, it felt really good to be back in Bluffton. And even though, I always said that I wanted to make it out of that small town, in a lot of ways, I miss it. I miss my friends a lot of the time and miss being close to my family. It was sad having to leave Friday morning - but I still have this thing deep in my heart for my career and know that eventually, I'll have a family of my own someday to love and support.
Maybe that will be my next "thing" to accomplish this year... To finally meet someone that just may be my next serious relationship. We'll see!
Enough for now... Phew!
I'm back into town and am getting settled back into the routine. You know, the working, sleeping, eating thing... Vacation went really well. Even though it seemed to just fly by, I was able to do pretty much all I wanted. I wanted to visit and catch up with friends - which I was able to do a lot of, to visit with family - which I was able to, and to relax - of which, I did quite a lot of, as well.
Traveling went pretty smooth... I ended up getting on the road by 12:30am on Friday the 4th, and with the weather cooperating, I nearly made it home in record time. Besides some hang-ups within the Chicago suburbs, traffic flowed fairly well. To avoid the apparent heavy construction on I-80 south of Chicago, I decided to take Highway-30 east off of I-39 in Illinois. This routed me through several very small towns and through Aurora, Plainfield, Joliet and Chicago Heights... and with construction going on within Plainfield and Joliet, it went painstakenly slow through that area. Still, I made it back into Bluffton by 4:00 pm. The same was true on the way back west on Friday the 18th, but the travel went even slower with scattered, light showers affecting traffic-flow through much of Indiana, Illinois and Wisconsin. Heavy rain in western portions of Minnesota really slowed things down... I was going 30 mph at one point because I couldn't hardly see in front of me.
The first night in town, I spent over at Jeff's (Justin's brother)... Justin and I decided to go swimming in his pool, since it had been a rather warm afternoon. Plus, it sounded really good to me, since I had been stuck in the car all damn day! Then it was off to Webster Lake, Saturday morning... Amy and Chris went along with us this year - it was the first time they had gone up with us. We had a pretty good time. Most of the time Saturday we were out on the water, tubing, or hanging out near the cottage, talking, drinking, and catching up with each other. It was nice to be around some of my closest friends again. It was nice to see Brian and Becky again, as well. I hadn't seen either in a long time... Sunday, the boat broke down, so we were forced to stay ashore most of the day. It got a little boring at times, but it was still nice to just be there with friends, relaxing.
The rest of that first week I was home, I spent down at Amy and Chris' down in Fishers... Chris is still in the process of beginning his real estate venture, so I was helping them out fixing up a home in Greenfield. It went pretty smooth and I enjoyed just helping them out and hanging out with my sister and brother-in-law for a week. Plus, they took me to Carrabba's - and damnit, that made it all worth it! I love that place!
Back in Bluffton, on Friday, I had to make it out to my dad's that evening for a cookout he was hosting for me. Several from my step-mother's family wanted to see me while I was home, so they were all there. It was nice to see them and visit for several hours. Saturday, I spent much of the day with Justin, Brian and Amy. Brian evidently had bought a new gun, so we were out at his parents shooting away. I have never enjoyed guns, per se, so I didn't shoot much, but did shoot his .45 caliber hand-gun. I didn't think it was going to be so loud, so I didn't have ear plugs in, initially. After that one shot, I put a pair of headphones on. As if my hearing isn't bad enough already! Then Sunday, my mother had yet, another cook-out for me. Members of my mother's family wanted to see me, as well, while I was home. It was nice to see them, as well, since I hadn't seen them in nearly 2 years.
Most of the second week, then, I spent at my mother's home in Bluffton. I was able to hang out with friends during the week and mostly just relaxed. My mother and step-father took me up to Bandido's for lunch on Wednesday (the 16th) and Justin, Brian and I all visited Bummies for dinner on both Tuesday and Wednesday. That's the one thing we lack up here in Grand Forks - a drive-in restaurant. As far as I know, we don't have one at all...
Thursday, I primarily spent packing things up... I wanted to visit with my dad, once again before I left, so I went out to his place for dinner Thursday evening. It was nice that they offered to make anything I wanted. :) I asked for my dad's famous fried potatoes. Ahh, were they good. Plus, they know how much I love steak, so they had steak on the grill ready, as well!
All in all, it felt really good to be back in Bluffton. And even though, I always said that I wanted to make it out of that small town, in a lot of ways, I miss it. I miss my friends a lot of the time and miss being close to my family. It was sad having to leave Friday morning - but I still have this thing deep in my heart for my career and know that eventually, I'll have a family of my own someday to love and support.
Maybe that will be my next "thing" to accomplish this year... To finally meet someone that just may be my next serious relationship. We'll see!
Enough for now... Phew!
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
- Signed: Matthew Hartman
- Filed under car , family , friends , photography , relationships , weather .
I'm up at 5:30am again... I was extremely tired after getting home from work yesterday afternoon, so I ended up taking a nap. After the nap, what else did I do? Well, went to bed, of course. What else? So, I suppose my getting up early this morning is justified, to some extent - much the opposite from yesterday.
I've been pulling the day shift at work (8:00am - 4:00pm) which is good in a couple of ways. I've had some things I've wanted to get done around here, plus I have errands I need to complete. I missed my appointment for my car last Thursday, so I still need to get it in for maintenance. Yes, I'm still having issues with the cruise control.
I've also been checking around for prices on enlargements for the lightning photos I shot during the evening of the 7th. I'd really like to get an enlargement or two to hang on my walls here. I have some interest at work to get some enlargements made to hang up there, as well. If you can believe it, we're a private weather forecasting company, yet we have not one weather picture hanging up in that office - anywhere! So, maybe I can start a trend here - and start getting some photos up on those walls. We have plenty of people in that office, especially among us forecasters, that chase and take photos. So, I'm sure we could all contribute.
Anyhow, it's been a little cool around these parts and especially rainy this morning. This upper-level cut-off low is still spinning around the Great Lakes and extending this shield of rain/showers over the eastern part of the state. It should taper off this afternoon, but it will likely keep things a little dreary through a good part of the day. It will, at least, be a good day to be inside at work. I'd rather have it that way, than have a beautiful 80° day and have to work.
I'm looking forward to this next week. A friend of mine will have her week-long vacation and I'm hoping we'll be able to get together and hang out. I managed to meet this woman a couple of months ago and have been e-mailing her back and forth for a while now. She's a little paranoid when it comes to sharing phone numbers and everything, which I can respect and can understand... But, it has been over 2 months now! Hopefully, we'll be able to find a time and finally meet each other.
I haven't talked to Amanda in a while... I should call her to see how she's been and what she's been up to. You know, I'll be honest here -- I understand that some women think that it's the "right" thing for the man to make the first move in a relationship... and to be the one responsible for "calling back..." In very nearly every relationship I've ever been in, that's been mostly true. But for you women (if there are any that actually read this) I'll let you in on one little secret. Us guys like it, too, when you call us! We like to feel wanted too, from time to time. I can recall a relationship while I was a Sr. in high school where this woman, in particular, would call me (out of the blue) and ask me if I wanted to come over, go on a walk, or simply to go out for ice cream... Don't get me wrong, I would call her plenty - but I'll just say, I enjoyed that. It's sad that it doesn't happen anymore - and especially sad that it hasn't in over 4 years.
Anyhow... Any more of this and I'll be forced on anti-depressants for the rest of my life. What I need is to be around my real friends... and I wish I could be. I'm getting very anxious for my trip home in August. I miss Brian and Amy. I miss Justin. And I miss my family. I can't wait to see Brian and Amy's little girl. They sent me a picture the other day of little Zoey... She's getting big and she's staying healthy! Check out this little cutie:
More later...
I've been pulling the day shift at work (8:00am - 4:00pm) which is good in a couple of ways. I've had some things I've wanted to get done around here, plus I have errands I need to complete. I missed my appointment for my car last Thursday, so I still need to get it in for maintenance. Yes, I'm still having issues with the cruise control.
I've also been checking around for prices on enlargements for the lightning photos I shot during the evening of the 7th. I'd really like to get an enlargement or two to hang on my walls here. I have some interest at work to get some enlargements made to hang up there, as well. If you can believe it, we're a private weather forecasting company, yet we have not one weather picture hanging up in that office - anywhere! So, maybe I can start a trend here - and start getting some photos up on those walls. We have plenty of people in that office, especially among us forecasters, that chase and take photos. So, I'm sure we could all contribute.
Anyhow, it's been a little cool around these parts and especially rainy this morning. This upper-level cut-off low is still spinning around the Great Lakes and extending this shield of rain/showers over the eastern part of the state. It should taper off this afternoon, but it will likely keep things a little dreary through a good part of the day. It will, at least, be a good day to be inside at work. I'd rather have it that way, than have a beautiful 80° day and have to work.
I'm looking forward to this next week. A friend of mine will have her week-long vacation and I'm hoping we'll be able to get together and hang out. I managed to meet this woman a couple of months ago and have been e-mailing her back and forth for a while now. She's a little paranoid when it comes to sharing phone numbers and everything, which I can respect and can understand... But, it has been over 2 months now! Hopefully, we'll be able to find a time and finally meet each other.
I haven't talked to Amanda in a while... I should call her to see how she's been and what she's been up to. You know, I'll be honest here -- I understand that some women think that it's the "right" thing for the man to make the first move in a relationship... and to be the one responsible for "calling back..." In very nearly every relationship I've ever been in, that's been mostly true. But for you women (if there are any that actually read this) I'll let you in on one little secret. Us guys like it, too, when you call us! We like to feel wanted too, from time to time. I can recall a relationship while I was a Sr. in high school where this woman, in particular, would call me (out of the blue) and ask me if I wanted to come over, go on a walk, or simply to go out for ice cream... Don't get me wrong, I would call her plenty - but I'll just say, I enjoyed that. It's sad that it doesn't happen anymore - and especially sad that it hasn't in over 4 years.
Anyhow... Any more of this and I'll be forced on anti-depressants for the rest of my life. What I need is to be around my real friends... and I wish I could be. I'm getting very anxious for my trip home in August. I miss Brian and Amy. I miss Justin. And I miss my family. I can't wait to see Brian and Amy's little girl. They sent me a picture the other day of little Zoey... She's getting big and she's staying healthy! Check out this little cutie:
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
I'm so freakin' tired, I really don't feel like writing in here tonight, but since it's been a while, I suppose I should. The past several days, I've been pulling the 7am to 3pm shift and even though I love getting off of work at 3:00pm, I hate getting up so early. You know me, I'm always up late, and this week hasn't been any different... So, as a result, yes, I've only managed 4-5 hours of sleep each night. I have Monday and Tuesday off, so I'm planning on getting caught up on some sleep.
Over the course of the past week, we've gradually been losing our snow-cover. Our temperatures have been remaining above freezing for the most part (especially over the past several days) and it's been raining as well, so that's helped. The negative is that with the rapid snow-melt and the fresh rainfall, the Red River is now threatening to flood. The Grand Forks forecast office upgraded our flood watch to a warning and is forecasting the river to crest at 47 feet. If that occurs, that'll make it the 6th highest it's ever been. The cool thing about this, is that if this indeed occurs, they'll have to place a new watermark on the monument down by the river.
Had some frustrating times yesterday... We've got apartment complexes going up in front of the building we're housed at work and as I was leaving work yesterday, I managed to snag a big ass screw in my right-front tire. I thought I had heard something "pop" but it didn't register, initially. About a half-mile down 42nd street I noticed my car was severely pulling to the right. After pulling over in the Valley Dairy (gas-station) I quickly found the tire completely flat! What a pain in the ass... So, I had to jack up the car, throw on my spare, and drive over to the Firestone. Since I had driven on the tire, they couldn't just patch the tire up, so I ended up having to purchase a new tire. Another $100 down the pooper... This car has been nothing but bad luck over the past year for me. First, I manage to drive the damn thing 30 feet into a mud-filled ravine last spring. Second, I end up having to replace a windshield after finding it cracked last summer. Third, the thing is broken into inside my garage a few months ago, and now... this! I suppose, these are all just that: bad luck. I couldn't have done anything to control any of these occurrences. They just manage to happen to me.
The one good thing to come out of all this: things seem to work out in the end. And thus far, I suppose I can't complain. Nothing major has happened to this car... and I guess I should feel lucky for the fact. I don't know what I'd do without my car. It's my baby...
Oh, and speaking of "babies..." I learned that Brian and Amy's little girl, Zoey, will be coming home from the hospital very soon. That's wonderful news... She was born about 2 months premature and even though she was as tiny as tiny can be, she's pulled through. I'm anxious to get home in August to see her.
Anyhow, I have some other things on my mind... maybe I'll share more later, when I'm a little more rested up. I'm off to take a nap!
Take care!
Over the course of the past week, we've gradually been losing our snow-cover. Our temperatures have been remaining above freezing for the most part (especially over the past several days) and it's been raining as well, so that's helped. The negative is that with the rapid snow-melt and the fresh rainfall, the Red River is now threatening to flood. The Grand Forks forecast office upgraded our flood watch to a warning and is forecasting the river to crest at 47 feet. If that occurs, that'll make it the 6th highest it's ever been. The cool thing about this, is that if this indeed occurs, they'll have to place a new watermark on the monument down by the river.Had some frustrating times yesterday... We've got apartment complexes going up in front of the building we're housed at work and as I was leaving work yesterday, I managed to snag a big ass screw in my right-front tire. I thought I had heard something "pop" but it didn't register, initially. About a half-mile down 42nd street I noticed my car was severely pulling to the right. After pulling over in the Valley Dairy (gas-station) I quickly found the tire completely flat! What a pain in the ass... So, I had to jack up the car, throw on my spare, and drive over to the Firestone. Since I had driven on the tire, they couldn't just patch the tire up, so I ended up having to purchase a new tire. Another $100 down the pooper... This car has been nothing but bad luck over the past year for me. First, I manage to drive the damn thing 30 feet into a mud-filled ravine last spring. Second, I end up having to replace a windshield after finding it cracked last summer. Third, the thing is broken into inside my garage a few months ago, and now... this! I suppose, these are all just that: bad luck. I couldn't have done anything to control any of these occurrences. They just manage to happen to me.
The one good thing to come out of all this: things seem to work out in the end. And thus far, I suppose I can't complain. Nothing major has happened to this car... and I guess I should feel lucky for the fact. I don't know what I'd do without my car. It's my baby...
Oh, and speaking of "babies..." I learned that Brian and Amy's little girl, Zoey, will be coming home from the hospital very soon. That's wonderful news... She was born about 2 months premature and even though she was as tiny as tiny can be, she's pulled through. I'm anxious to get home in August to see her.
Anyhow, I have some other things on my mind... maybe I'll share more later, when I'm a little more rested up. I'm off to take a nap!
Take care!
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
Hello folks,
I apologize it's been so long I last posted in here. My sister and brother-in-law have been up here since last Tuesday, December 27th. I'm sitting here at work and since it's relatively quiet, I figured I'd finally update everyone what's been going on up here.
Nothing much new, really... but it's been great having company! I think Amy and Chris are beginning to realize there really isn't that much to do up here. We've had difficulty finding things to do! ;) We've mostly been staying in and relaxing (which luckily they don't mind) watching a few movies and visiting... It is their vacation, so a little rest and relaxation for them has been alright. We went to see "Fun With Dick and Jane" at the movies the other night. It was a pretty good movie, but wasn't quite as funny as I thought it would be. I'd still recommend it to anyone that likes silly comedies. We've went out to eat a few times and even traveled to Seven Clans Casino over near Thief River Falls, MN on Saturday. We didn't hit the jackpot, but still had fun.
For New Year's Eve, we didn't do a whole lot. Grand Forks had it's annual "First Night" event, but all we went downtown for was to check out the ice-sculptures. We decided against staying for the fireworks at midnight cause of the cold temperatures. We could barely see them from the apartment, but caught a few glimpses over the apartment buildings across the street. We went for some alcohol at Happy Harry's and celebrated that way! ;)
So, other than that, not much new has been going on. It sucks that Amy and Chris are leaving tomorrow morning. It's been great having them here. It's been fun! Plus, I've gotten quite used to having someone else in the apartment. I decided to make a resolution this year: to get a woman (not related) in my apartment sometime this year. For how long, overnight would be preferrable (hee-hee), but even for a couple hours for dinner or a movie (or both!) would suffice. We'll see how it goes...
Anyhow, I guess I'll start working on my district forecasts early tonight, since most areas have been looked at already.
Take care and Happy New Years, folks!
I apologize it's been so long I last posted in here. My sister and brother-in-law have been up here since last Tuesday, December 27th. I'm sitting here at work and since it's relatively quiet, I figured I'd finally update everyone what's been going on up here.
Nothing much new, really... but it's been great having company! I think Amy and Chris are beginning to realize there really isn't that much to do up here. We've had difficulty finding things to do! ;) We've mostly been staying in and relaxing (which luckily they don't mind) watching a few movies and visiting... It is their vacation, so a little rest and relaxation for them has been alright. We went to see "Fun With Dick and Jane" at the movies the other night. It was a pretty good movie, but wasn't quite as funny as I thought it would be. I'd still recommend it to anyone that likes silly comedies. We've went out to eat a few times and even traveled to Seven Clans Casino over near Thief River Falls, MN on Saturday. We didn't hit the jackpot, but still had fun.
For New Year's Eve, we didn't do a whole lot. Grand Forks had it's annual "First Night" event, but all we went downtown for was to check out the ice-sculptures. We decided against staying for the fireworks at midnight cause of the cold temperatures. We could barely see them from the apartment, but caught a few glimpses over the apartment buildings across the street. We went for some alcohol at Happy Harry's and celebrated that way! ;)
So, other than that, not much new has been going on. It sucks that Amy and Chris are leaving tomorrow morning. It's been great having them here. It's been fun! Plus, I've gotten quite used to having someone else in the apartment. I decided to make a resolution this year: to get a woman (not related) in my apartment sometime this year. For how long, overnight would be preferrable (hee-hee), but even for a couple hours for dinner or a movie (or both!) would suffice. We'll see how it goes...
Anyhow, I guess I'll start working on my district forecasts early tonight, since most areas have been looked at already.
Take care and Happy New Years, folks!
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
Okay, so this is a tad late, but I wanted to write to everyone to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I hope everyone had a good one this year.
How did I spend my Christmas? At work...! Yes, that's right, I worked today from 3:00 to 11:00pm. I woke up at 7:00 this morning with a horrible headache - then couldn't get back to sleep. So, I took a couple Tylenol and took a hot shower. That helped quite a bit...
Amy and Chris (my sister and brother-in-law) will by flying in on Tuesday morning, so I've been cleaning up the apartment the past couple days. I finished up a couple other things today. I wanted to clean out the 'fridge and freezer, so I got that finished up, then worked on finishing up laundry. I still have one more load to do, then want to clean up my bedding. I'll have to give up my bed for a week, to give them something to sleep on. I'm not going to make them sleep on the bed that folds from my couch. That thing is just too damn uncomfortable. I don't even like to sleep on that! ;)
I work today from 10:00am to 6:00pm, so I'll have a few more things to finish up when I get home from work. I still need to make my way to the store to pick up a few things, then need to do some other minor things... You know, dust, vacuum, and clean the bathroom, the basics...!
Anyhow, I suppose I should be getting to bed here, since I have to be up in the morning for work.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
How did I spend my Christmas? At work...! Yes, that's right, I worked today from 3:00 to 11:00pm. I woke up at 7:00 this morning with a horrible headache - then couldn't get back to sleep. So, I took a couple Tylenol and took a hot shower. That helped quite a bit...
Amy and Chris (my sister and brother-in-law) will by flying in on Tuesday morning, so I've been cleaning up the apartment the past couple days. I finished up a couple other things today. I wanted to clean out the 'fridge and freezer, so I got that finished up, then worked on finishing up laundry. I still have one more load to do, then want to clean up my bedding. I'll have to give up my bed for a week, to give them something to sleep on. I'm not going to make them sleep on the bed that folds from my couch. That thing is just too damn uncomfortable. I don't even like to sleep on that! ;)
I work today from 10:00am to 6:00pm, so I'll have a few more things to finish up when I get home from work. I still need to make my way to the store to pick up a few things, then need to do some other minor things... You know, dust, vacuum, and clean the bathroom, the basics...!
Anyhow, I suppose I should be getting to bed here, since I have to be up in the morning for work.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
So, today I get woken up by a knock on my door. Who the hell is knocking on my door at 3:30pm? First, I don't have anyone in my apartment complex that I say are real "friends" but maybe one guy... and it's highly unlike him to just come knocking on my door - especially at that hour. He works during the day, so I rarely see the guy; especially when I'm working these 8:00pm to 4:00am shifts!
Anyhow, pleasant surprise: it was the UPS with a package! Sweeeet! My dad and step-mother had sent me a care-package... I feel like I'm in college again, folks. It was a "sweet" thought though and I appreciate it. The only mail I'm used to receiving is primarily made up of student loan and/or utility bills. So, I open it up only to be treated with all types of goodies. Popcorn, Fiddle-Faddles, hot chocolate... mmm! Somehow, I have a feeling this stuff isn't going to last long.
I have one more of these 8pm-4am shifts tonight, then have the next two days off. It'll be nice, cause there are some things I need to get done around the apartment. Dishes are piling up again. I swear, all it takes is 4 or 5 days... And I can't stand dishes that just sit there! I need to do some laundry and the bathroom needs cleaned. So, I'll probably be hibernating the next couple of days in the apartment, cleaning and doing some chores - whilst saving money and not going out.
I need to save money for Christmas. Unfortunately, I won't be making it home for the holidays this year, but I still want to find something I can send to the family and possibly to some friends for Christmas. My sister and brother-in-law will be coming up December 27th through January 3rd to visit. So, I'm really looking forward to that! I don't get visitors very often, so I'll enjoy that...
Anyhow, I'm getting the munchies and I need to shower and gloss up for work yet! Take care and keep warm... Looks like the eastern half of the country is gonna get their first real arctic blast over the next 2-3 days! It's about time someone else suffers! ;)
Anyhow, pleasant surprise: it was the UPS with a package! Sweeeet! My dad and step-mother had sent me a care-package... I feel like I'm in college again, folks. It was a "sweet" thought though and I appreciate it. The only mail I'm used to receiving is primarily made up of student loan and/or utility bills. So, I open it up only to be treated with all types of goodies. Popcorn, Fiddle-Faddles, hot chocolate... mmm! Somehow, I have a feeling this stuff isn't going to last long.
I have one more of these 8pm-4am shifts tonight, then have the next two days off. It'll be nice, cause there are some things I need to get done around the apartment. Dishes are piling up again. I swear, all it takes is 4 or 5 days... And I can't stand dishes that just sit there! I need to do some laundry and the bathroom needs cleaned. So, I'll probably be hibernating the next couple of days in the apartment, cleaning and doing some chores - whilst saving money and not going out.
I need to save money for Christmas. Unfortunately, I won't be making it home for the holidays this year, but I still want to find something I can send to the family and possibly to some friends for Christmas. My sister and brother-in-law will be coming up December 27th through January 3rd to visit. So, I'm really looking forward to that! I don't get visitors very often, so I'll enjoy that...
Anyhow, I'm getting the munchies and I need to shower and gloss up for work yet! Take care and keep warm... Looks like the eastern half of the country is gonna get their first real arctic blast over the next 2-3 days! It's about time someone else suffers! ;)
0 conundrum(s) | Have one of your own?
